DEATH RATTLE

This here's one of the scariest horror pictures I ever seen. DEATH RATTLE, it's called. You ever see that movie? DEATH RATTLE. It's about this family that buys a rattle for their new baby at this rummage sale, right, only it turns out that this rattle was used by natives during ancient Incan human sacrifice rituals thousands and thousands of years ago. So it's possessed by vengeful Inca spirits that take over the baby and go on a horrific murder spree. The special effects were some good, too--this picture features the most realistic-looking rubber demon baby puppet I ever seen, and I seen a lot of those! This movie right here is the reason I never had kids, just in case they got possessed and tried to smother me with a plastic bag like the demon baby in this movie does to his own older sister.

LUST OF THE YETI

What do you guys think of my new logo? I got this guy named James White to design it for me after I seen him in some magazine called FACES. For some reason, everybody calls him Gijantic Jim. It sure looks cool, though, eh? Would you say that's the best one of those you ever seen?

This here's the poster for LUST OF THE YETI. It was a movie that come out in 1976, and it starred Tanya Freeling and Burt Melman. It also starred Ted Nagel as the Yeti. He played a Bigfoot in THE BRIDE OF BIGFOOT, a Sasquatch in I, SASQUATCH, and a Wendigo in DON'T HIDE IN THE CLOSET.

THE MUFFIN MAN

This’s a good one, man. THE MUFFIN MAN. You ever see that movie? I got the VHS tape of it at the Bargain Harold’s closing-out sale for $2.99. This guy, right, this baker guy, he has a psychopathic breakdown and he starts baking people into a giant cake. There’s this one part where this girl finds a muffin, right, and she takes a bite out of it, only to realize there’s a severed finger poking out of it. This one was an Italian movie, but it had some American stars into it. The female lead was Jessica Weaver, before she got famous on the TV show THE BIRDS AND THE BEES. The Police Chief was played by Fred Dunphy, who was a well-known character actor in the 60s and 70s. I first seen him in ESCAPE FROM INCARCERATION ISLAND. I heard somebody might do a remake of this movie where they delve into the psychology behind the Muffin Man’s homicidal insanity. Man, I’d like to see that movie.

The Wafting

This one here’s the paperback novel of THE WAFTING, which got made into a movie in 1982 by the same guys who made THE SEDUCTION OF SARAH SPECTOR and GHOST MOTEL. It’s about a chemical plant that leaks an experimental gas and when people smell it they turn into psychotic lunatics. The government wants to study it and use it as a weapon against the Russians, right, but this scientist lady traps in a lab with herself and then blows up the lab and sacrifices herself. It was so scary that when I first saw it on TV, I tried to see how long I could hold my breath so the gas wouldn’t get me. I don’t know how long I held it for, but eventually I passed out and hit my head on the coffee table. I still got a scar from it.

Planet of the Frankensteins

Oh, man, this’s an old one. PLANET OF THE FRANKENSTEINS, it’s called. I got this one on video, but the tape broke ‘cause I played it so much and they never put it out on DVD yet. This spaceship crash lands on this planet, right, and the planet is overrun by Frankensteins, and when they catch you they turn you into a Frankenstein too. The special effects were done by Nelford Ramsay, who also made the effects for ROCKET ZOMBIES FROM SPACE. I just got that movie from the three-dollar bin at Wal-Mart. You ever see that movie?

The Cobwebbing of Coldwater Grove

Hello, my friends, and welcome to my House of Haunts. This here’s the place to come if you love classical horror movies like I do. I got the biggest collection of classical horror movie stuff around, and this is where I get to share it with everyone.



This here’s a good one, man. I got this when the old Casino Theatre on Gottingen St. closed down. They were just throwing it out, and I asked if I could have it, and they said they didn’t give a care so I took it. It’s the original poster for THE COBWEBBING OF COLDWATER GROVE, which is a great movie that come out in 1980. They took it from a short story that come out in the fifties, but they put in lots more naked women and sex to make it more modern. I seen that one at the drive-in. It was some scary, too, especially if you’re scared of spiders. I’m not, but man, these are some big spiders. There’s one scene where this guy, right, he’s on the toilet, and this giant spider comes right up from behind the toilet tank and gets him. I tell ya, man, I never felt safe on the toilet after that.